They have wondered why, when faced with the speech of forgiveness, those who do not forgive are more cruel than those who ask for it. Or is that what they make us believe?
Although forgiving is something that, of course, has more to do with oneself and with one’s own peace, that even to achieve it sometimes it is not even necessary to hear a forgive me from the person who performed the act, but to heal consciously and with really hard work.
The demand for forgiveness as a palliative and permissive measure of atrocious behavior. On the part of people who, without the proper management of emotions, without patience and without the intention of taking control and responsibility for their actions, ask for it, almost shouts acclaim it, in exchange for peace. Yes, personal peace and not the peace of the other.
Thus, the majority of people on the offending side, so to speak, take it ill to not be forgiven. As if it were enough just to say it, write it or think about it, without a change in behavior, without a change in attitude, without making up for anything and even doing it, the demand persists to a greater degree, because according to their criteria they are doing everything to be forgiven.
Phrases like I already asked for your forgiveness or you are not able to forgive, are so common. Questioning even your capacity for kindness, for piety, to be a good human being, and not the capacity of who with intention or not, carried out a malicious act. Of course, as erring is human …, they justify many things and as supposedly karma will come to charge the bad thing they did, and with it they live in peace. You know, maybe it touches me right? That should be enough. And obviously, without forgetting what follows, … forgiving is divine, they elevate you to the spiritual dimension so that you can see that you cannot be such cruel being, because if you were, what kind of human would you be, there you no longer belong to the class of a simple human who made a mistake, not even one injured, you are a divinity who must know how to forgive,
And of course if you take more time to forgive even half the time they spent hurting you, if that were the case, or you simply take your time to handle the situation and heal, you are evil, you are retaliating it out, without adding the supposed acts of compensation that are being done, there you are even ungrateful. And not to mention if you dare to do something minor or similar to what they did to you, who would you be? you become an equal to them. No, not in an equal, in someone worse, someone who does not know how to handle their actions, someone who is not capable of forgiving, an infamous being with whom one could no longer be at peace, because you could not be able to be like that. Only the one who did it has that twisted ability, reduced to a simple mistake, so that afterwards everything returns to the way it was.
And even in circumstances, where your conduct is “blameless”, under his gaze, the unforgiving turns into evil in person. The demands begin to come from all sides, family, friends, society that even find the excuse of saying, it is for your good; when they neither understand, nor do they care. Because in most cases they really are demanding your mercy so that the other party feels peace and will probably go back to doing what they did in the hope of being forgiven again one day. Few cases in which both parties make the firm decision to correct because they really want it, and strive to achieve it without caring that it will mean returning to what was before, but voluntarily for the common good. Or even only a part has the conviction of being able to feel peace, after hard work that allows them to free themselves thanks to a series of measures and characteristics that allow them to forgive themselves and even that will depend on each one and what they consider is enough to be redeemed.
On the other hand, and despite in most cases, the guilt given to those who do not forgive, the force to feel bad, is even stronger, recalcitrant and obstructive for their own healing. He does not contribute anything to any process that involves only himself, but a conditioner to the affection, love or pressure of others so that they end up giving in to the wishes of the opposite party and falling into their supposedly justified redemption.